Sunday, October 01, 2006

Do's and Don'ts on a First Date

by Terence Young

The first date is a critical moment in any relationship. You want to put your best foot forward and make a good impression. In fact, you want that so bad that your jitters and nervousness can derail your attempts to impress that date. Never fear, though, because if you follow the advice in this article, you are bound to make the best impression possible. If the girl or guy doesn't want to date you again, it might just be that you really aren't suited for each other. If this is the case, there isn't any point in wanting it to continue anyway, right? So here are some do's and don'ts that should smooth the way.

Do plan an actual date, such as a movie, concert, or dinner. Have an entertaining evening all planned out instead of just getting together to see what happens. You can always go to plan B later if things are going good.

Do be clean, well groomed, and appropriately dressed for the event.

Do be on time. Tardiness shows a great lack of respect for that other person. Likewise, showing up an hour early because you just can't wait puts pressure on them because they are probably not ready.

Do be decisive about the restaurant or other places you will go, but remain flexible. If you chose a steakhouse, but didn't realize your date was into vegetarian fare, it would be a kind gesture to change the plans to visit a restaurant more suitable to her tastes. Generally speaking, however, someone needs to be willing to make the decisions. Nothing is a bigger waste of time than two people batting a restaurant choice around.

Do take a little time to think up some things to talk about if you are both naturally quiet people. Most people like to answer questions about themselves. Try not to just ask a list of yes or no questions though, as though you are interrogating them. Ask questions that require more of an answer. Ask about his or her hobbies, interests, and ideas.

Don't, however, openly argue with your date's ideas. If you can tell that you are worlds apart in philosophy or religion, it might me a good idea to just enjoy the entertainment and find someone else to ask out the next time.

Don't spend your date doing something self-centered. For instance, if you go to an arcade, let your date play the games, too. Don't sit and talk on the cell phone or do business while you're together either. Your date should have your undivided attention.

Don't make them feel ogled or watched, however. If you find them extremely desirable, try to restrain yourself. Don't put them on the defensive. Give them time to get to know you, and they might find you equally desirable.

Finally, don't give up before you have given yourself and your date a fair chance. Remember that he or she is nervous, too. Don't get impatient about either pushing the relationship or giving up on it. Give it a chance to grow on its own.

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