Sunday, March 26, 2006

Being A Leader When Dating

By: Robert Torrey

What is leadership?

It is important to immediate communicate that YOU are the leader, not let and not let somebody else communicate that they are leading you! A lot of guys unfortunately and mistakenly place women on some level that they can not reach and therefore let the girl have total leadership and let them be in control of situations.

The reality is that the girl NEEDS what YOU have. Therefore YOU are the leader!

The one quality that communicates leadership, more so than everything else, is slight overconfidence.

Leadership = confidence.

Be overconfident in a charming and maybe even funny way. Don't be overtly arrogant unless you're dealing with someone who is being arrogant and overbearing.

-- Confidence" is a vague term. Confidence really means --not insecure." In other words, it means not being submissive and not seeking anyone else's approval, including women and others. Most people seek women's approval, and even other men therefore destroying confidence.

Confidence is seen in an outward way as having a calm, cool, smooth demeanor with relaxed, spread out body language. This really communicates confidence and a total lack of insecurity.

Leaders DO NOT seek anyone's approval! Say this to yourself: --I approve. You are the one who approves or disapproves of what is going on. What anyone else thinks is irrelevant because You are the one who judges. Repeat this often before going out to a bar or club.

Leadership = dominance.

Dominance simply means that YOU are in control, and others must comply with YOU.

Being dominant does not mean being domineering. Domineering is a sign of insecurity oe domineering people are trying to overtly control others. Dominant people do not overtly control or manipulate others; they control THEMSELVES and SITUATIONS.

Leadership = control.

Control means control over yourself and situations in which you find yourself. Others defer to you and your judgment.

Control does not mean to be controlling. Like domineering, controlling suggests insecurity. You should strive to be in control of yourself and situations, not to outwardly control other people.

About the Author:
Robert Torrey is one of the dating instructors for Attract and Date. Get a free video of students approaching women, and a free MP3 for destroying fears by subscribing to Attract and Date's newsletter.


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